Why You Don’t Need To Care What

People
Think

What Can I Do To Stop Caring What Other People Think?

Firstly, you care what people think because you have a made-up identity.

This identity is not absolute it is just a whole lot of ideas about who you are and what image you like to portray to the world.  This is the secret to letting go of placing so much importance on what others think of you.

Sure you may be kind and nice a lot or on the other hand you might be tough and uncompromising but that is just a habit.  It is a habit that has formed from childhood where you learned one or two effective strategies to feel good, get attention or minimize pain.

How Do I learn To Be OK?

You are OK now, it is just you think you are not.  You are not happy being thought of as ‘cruel’ or ‘mean’ or ‘rude’.  You are taking your idea of who you are or who you should be; your idea of your personality or an ideal personality, and holding onto being that and only that.

To feel OK you need to see that this personality idea you have is not actually you.  You need to embrace being everything under the sun.  There is no little you inside your head or anywhere else.

There is no such thing as mean or kind or cruel in reality.  These labels only appear in your mind by comparing to something or someone else.

At some point you will want a few more biscuits than the two that is socially acceptable to take at a morning tea.  If you do then you might feel rude.  Have you actually been rude or is it just a construct from peer pressure and society?

To feel rude and ashamed for taking four biscuits means you place greater importance on what other people think of you than following your desires.

What Else Do I Need To Know?

The irony is people will respect and admire you more for being true to yourself and honest and authentic in your actions.  If you wanted to do something deep down but didn’t for fear of upsetting someone or being seen a certain way then you are incongruent between your internal world and external actions.

Not only will this make you feel bad but people will not respect you and will walk all over you if they want to do so.  They will sense the pretending and the lack of strength of conviction in your heart.

Women especially feel pressure to be a certain way. 

Begin by noticing how often you betray yourself to please others or to be seen a certain way and you will see the strong influence to care what people think.  Just by watching you will start to do this
less and less.